Making someone feel special is important. Remembering cherished past memories is important too. Remembering milestone moments in relationships, how you met and the initial excitement of knowing each other is an important facet for relationship success.
Making someone feel special is important. Remembering cherished past memories is equally important. Not only does it make your partner feel you care, you set a standard and protocol in your relationship. It doesn’t matter what other couples are doing, what matters is how much both of you do for each other.
8.1 Why celebrate
Anniversaries, birthdays and milestones in your relationship are important. They remind you of important events and experiences you have had together. By making a big deal out of them (yes I mean big deal) we remind each other that we matter. It is also a chance to look back over the years and see how we have grown. We can also understand how we have changed over the years. Change is the only constant and when we don’t evolve with our partners in the relationship we lose them or ourselves somewhere along the way. I have clients who constantly rant, ” He has changed!” Remember so have you! We need to accept change in each other. Celebrating how we were different before and reliving those memories will make the relationship really fun.
8.2 Make it a big deal, because it is
Ali and Saira were big on this. Actually Saira was big on this and she set the tone for this earlier on in the relationship. She made it a point to celebrate every month of their anniversary, their birthdays and special days like Valentines, Christmas, Thanksgiving and New Years’. She was always planning and plotting earlier on in the relationship and made Ali feel so special. He felt the love towards her and did the same for her. They wrote emails to each other to commemorate their special days, sent each other meaningful and memorable gifts and made each other feel special. Once Saira sent flowers with a special love message in a bottle to the hotel Ali was staying at when he went away for work. He was floored when the concierge handed him the flowers.
I am a firm believer of making a big deal out of things for your loved ones. Why? Simply because life is all about celebrating each other. We all feel happy when when we are celebrated as much as we sometimes deny it. I love it when I am loved and remembered. And sometimes it is the small gestures that matter, not the huge ones. Celebrating milestones in your relationship is important. It doesn’t matter if you have been together for 20 years, always make the effort to make your partner feel special and loved. Many clients who come to me have the same complain – he doesn’t celebrate me.
I used to think feeling loved and remembered b someone is so important. When I was beginning my spiritual path, I reflected a lot on my life and relationships. I discovered something about myself. When I was loving people I felt really happy. When I was making them feel special, it gave me an inner glow. When I did things to celebrate people, I felt an unbelievable joy within me. Yes I do remember feeling wonderful when loved but when I was loving I felt enthralled. I remember going hunting for presents for my boyfriend and finding ways to make him feel special on his special day – even if it meant sending him sexy selfies!
As much as people complain about their birthdays, we all love a good treat. Make a big deal about his birthday way before the date. Make sure you plan something interesting. Again it doesn’t have to cost you a bomb, it simply has to be meaningful. Your partner’s personality also matters here. So if he is not big into celebrations, do it his way.
8.3.1 Things to do to make your partner feel special
- Wish him at 0000. Being the first one to wish him is always exciting for you and him. He would feel special and you would be getting jitters trying to make that special call.
- Write him a long email or letter. Nothing says it better than words! Send him a birthday wish with your declaration of love – he will be touched at the effort you have put in.
- Surprise him! Everyone loves a surprise. Even if you stay together, plan small surprises around the house for him to play.
- Gifts! Always a big one for me. Get him something memorable – something he’s planning to buy, something you like, something meaningful.
- Throw him a party! Celebrating with loved ones and friends is always fun. Plan a small gathering or go wild with a big birthday bash for him.
- Birthday sex – always a winner. Make sure you spice it up. Wrap yourself up as a gift and present yourself to him.
You might think that an anniversary is just another reason to give your partner a gift or go for a nice dinner together. Why should celebrating your anniversary be any different from a date night? The importance of celebrating an anniversary shouldn’t only be limited to gifts and dinner. There is so much of significance in celebrating your anniversary. An anniversary is a celebration to commemorate a special date in your relationship – it could be the date you first met, first became a couple, first started living together or got married. It should be a special day for you both to reimagine how you met and look back and how you and your relationship has evolved over the years. It is a good time for couples to assess their relationships and see how important it is to them.
Saira and Ali used to celebrate every month on tenth – they met on the 10th of January and for the first year they celebrated every month by simply sending each other a love email. Small things like this kept their relationship exciting and fun. After their first year, they made plans to celebrate every year on the 10 of January – they lived in different cities and sometimes even a virtual date was all they could do. Like I said, the bottom line was to try and be with each other mentally and appreciate one another for being there.
8.4.1 Planning an anniversary
When a couple has been in a long term relationship, they often forget to celebrate their anniversaries. It is important to make this day important in your calendars and change your perception of it being “just another day”. Remember it doesn’t have to be expensive and it definitely shouldn’t be mundane. Get creative and do something you both enjoy. Here are some things you can do together.
- Plan a getaway. It doesn’t have to be a first class world tour, it could be a simply staycation over the weekend to be in each others presence.
- Throw an anniversary party and celebrate with family and friends. It is a good way to renew your vows and get connected with all your loved ones.
- Although preparing for one can be expensive, you can always set up a simple getaway trip over the weekend to make things more exceptional.
- Get each other a him/her gift. It could be a similar bracelet or ring or even a towel set. Something to commemorate your special day.
- Spend a luxurious day at the spa with each other – embracing the relaxation and getting spoilt together.
- A day at the beach is another great way to chill and be with each other whilst enjoying yourself amidst the waves.
- Rent a yacht and go out to sea for the day. This is a great way to unwind, make it special and be with each other on your anniversary.
8.6 Milestones in the relationship
Another thing you both can celebrate are milestones in the relationship. Like I said, every day is a celebration of life and love and by remembering the small things in your relationship, you give the relationship importance and make each other feel special. These markers signal the start of new beginning in your lives together and celebrating these significant occasions will bring you closer and add layers of depth to your relationship.Let’s take a look at some of the milestones couples can expect to experience in their journey together.
- From just friends to being a couple – Usually in the courtship stage you start off as friends. It take a while to see if both of you are compatible. After you’ve been dating for a while, you might discover that there is pretty much everything you ever wanted in a partner. This is the point to decide to become a couple and build on your relationship. This relationship milestone is definitely worthy of recognition.
- Celebrate your first kiss – When did it happen? Who initiated it? What were you wearing? And how hot was it. Celebrating your first kiss and playing flashbacks in your mind about it is always fun. You could also reenact the scene with your partner and talk about how you were feeling.
- Celebrate the first time you had sex – Was it in the back of his car? Were you both drunk? This usually is a huge milestone int he relationship. You start to build a special bond with other, let your guards down and share your vulnerabilities with each other. If you were trying to get to know each other more first, this definitely is a big milestone. Having sex with someone is scary and exciting at the same time – it could also break the relationship if you both aren’t sexually compatible.
- Celebrate first time he said I love you – Who said it first? This is a scary relationship milestone. The person who says it first has a lot to risk and definitely feels vulnerable. The first time my boyfriend said I love you to me was long after I had said it ( but I used to say it all the time anyway) and he had had a lot of drink before that. Those three words felt nice – there was some doubt. Had his feelings finally turned to love? Was he saying it without meaning it? This milestone, sets the tone for many milestones to come. It’s definitely worth celebrating your newfound closeness.
- Celebrate your first holiday together – Taking a trip together is a significant milestone. Spending time with each other will give you a glimpse into your partner’s quirks and habits. Is he a a snorer? Does he mess the toilet after using it? Are we able to compromise with each other? Is he fussy and anal?
- First time you had a fight – Is this an important milestone? Yes. Is it going to happen? Yes. No matter how in love you are, there will always be a first time you disagree or argue. All couples fight – we aren’t celebrating the fight but how you resolved the fight. Do you remember if you blocked him? Did you cry yourself to sleep? Who apologised first? How long before you resolved your fight? If you made it through your first fight, it is definitely worth remembering how it brought it closer to one another.
- Living in together – This is an important milestone in your relationship and definitely needs a celebration. When a couple decides to start living together they have reached a point in the relationship where they are taking the next step forward. Living together means you want to explore a future with each other and it surely is an assurance of a tomorrow.
- Buying a house together – This means you are in the relationship for the long haul. Buying a house together is a long term commitment and it involves a financial commitment. Creating a house together requires, effort and commitment. Definitely a milestone in your relationship.
- Getting engaged – This solidifies the relationship and am important stepping stone before finally tying the know. You have dated long enough to have kept the flame alive and know you want a future with this person and if you have gotten this far, it is a day worth remembering.
- Getting married – Wedding anniversaries are huge milestones. From having a mega party or pampering your partner, its definitely worth renewing your vows on this special date and celebrating with family and friends.
8.7 Celebrating occasions
Celebrating Valentines’ Day, New Years, Christmas and other renowned occasions is another way to celebrate each other. Valentines day, is a Roman festival where the Romans had a festival called Lupercalia in the middle of February – officially the start of their springtime.It’s thought that as part of the celebrations, boys drew names of girls from a box. They’d be boyfriend and girlfriend during the festival and sometimes they’d get married.Later on, the church wanted to turn this festival into a Christian celebration and decided to use it to remember St Valentine too.Gradually, St Valentine’s name started to be used by people to express their feelings to those they loved. Today it’s a famous celebration of love and many couple make a big deal of it. Celebrating other occasions as a couple will bring you both closer too. Celebrating Thanksgiving with Saira’s family had become a tradition for Ali and her. They both looked forward to that trip.
A word of caution here. A lot of women get disappointed if they make it special for their partners and it isn’t reciprocated. Remember do not have expectations. He isn’t you and you can’t control him. But if you do things for him with love and sincerity, he will be moved to make things special for you in his own way. Ali made a lot of effort to keep up with Saira. He started thinking hard what presents to get her, started writing emails for her special days and wanted to make her feel special – simply because he loved her. He wasn’t a showy person, so to do all this for Saira was HUGE for him. He did it, simply because he felt the love and wanted to make Saira feel special. Once he was away on a business trip and called her 100 times throughout the day. It is these small gestures that really go a long way.
Another thing to be weary about is getting presents for each other. Make sure the gift is from the heart – many couples start comparing the value of their gifts and their partners gifts and then things become toxic. The aim here is not to outdo each other but to celebrate the togetherness and commemorate the special day.