My business mentor asked me this a few weeks ago – ” Do you think you are a successful relationship coach?” I didn’t know how to respond.
What determines success? Is it making the figures? Is it the job satisfaction ? Is it the happy faces of my clients? I contemplated for a few days – read up a lot on successful business people and I realised, mindset was the exact reason why someone feels successful or not.
So, what really is a success mindset a relationship coach needs in her business? To this day, I really don’t think there’s an exact answer…or well, a one-size-fits-all answer anyway.One person might define success as not having to work more than 40 hours a week, another person might define success as having a million dollars in the bank account. Yet to another it might mean being a good mum and career woman!
What I have noticed is a success mindset will not work if you don’t have certain mental processes going right.
In this blog I talk about 6 life hacks that will help internalise the success mindset.
- Hack 1 – What you sow so shall you reap
- Hack 2 -You are 100 percent responsible for your success
- Hack 3 – Face the resistance
- Hack 4 – Have a learner mindset
- Hack 5 – Face the procrastination
- Hack 6 – Magic rule – Don’t give up
Hack 1 – What You Sow So Shall You Reap
There are no magic pills or flavours in life. You learn the fundamentals of business, coaching, and mastering your mind as a relationship coach. You don’t learn any gimmicks or hack some loopholes that enable you to exploit some rare opportunity for a limited amount of time until someone smartens up and removes that loophole.
There isn’t some hack found on the internet to press this button that starts making you successful. I’m not showing you how to do any of those things. Nothing we’re doing here is a gimmick or a flavour of the week or a magic pill. What you need to learn is how to think like a millionaire and the new age of coaching system which is happening right now. The world’s changing a lot and we’re moving into this new period. The systems and everything, and the way of thinking which I’ve created for coaching is changing.
By learning how this new world of coaching works, you’re going to be able to be at the forefront of that. You’re going to be one of the leading people who is pioneering this new way of coaching. I’m teaching you exactly how that works. The cool thing about this is that these skills are going to last you a life time. The lessons you learn in here about business, relationships, coaching, and mastering your own mind – these are going to last you for the rest of your life and you will collect dividends on this for every year of the rest of your life. That is the success formula.
You need to put in the work.Some of it will challenge you and push you outside of your comfort zone. Success doesn’t come easy – you’re not going to sit down on your couch with a bag of popcorn, and start tapping on your keyboard and then it’s going to happen.
It’s going to push you outside of your comfort zone. It’s going to challenge you. It’s going to make you question things which you have believed for a long time.
Whenever someone goes into a state like this, it’s a good thing. It means that things are changing. It means that you’re growing as a person mentally. It means that your business is growing too. It’s important to understand that you will feel uncomfortable at times, and that’s essential if you want change and you want growth. You’ve got to learn to embrace it.
Hack 2 -You are 100 percent responsible for your success
Let’s talk about taking full responsibility because this is the most important thing to really get your head around right now coming into this program. Where you are in life right now financially, physically, mentally- this is precisely how you have designed it. You are responsible for where you are in life right now and nobody else. What you have right now, how much money in your bank account, the state of everything you have … It’s all you. You did that, you designed it and you’re the only person responsible for that.
I know for a lot of people, this is kind of hard to come to grips with at first because sometimes you hear that and you’re like, “No. It was to do with the government. It was to do with this person or that person.” It wasn’t, it was you. You have to learn to accept that.
Right here, right now. You wont make any progress in life or in business until you fully accept this.Just like you are responsible for where you are right now, you will be responsible for your success as a relationship coach.Remember, don’t blame other things. Don’t blame other people. You’re responsible for your own life right now and you’re going to be responsible for your success. You have to take full responsibility, 100% for everything.
This is so important. People who are victims don’t get anything in life. You don’t want to be the victim. You don’t want to say it’s the government’s fault. You don’t want to say it’s my internet connection’s fault. You don’t want to say, “My computer was too slow or my back sore, or I was tired, or it was raining outside, or there was traffic.” You don’t want to be one of those people because those people don’t get anything. Those people are saying that life is out of their control. They’re basically in a pinball machine and whatever happens to them, it was poor me.
You don’t want to be that person because they don’t get anything in life. When you’re someone who takes full responsibility for success, you get success. Make sure that you fully come to grips with this and fully internalise this right now.
Hack 3 -Face the resistance
As a coach, you are going to come up against some resistance. Most people believe that resistance is a bad thing and when they face it, they believe the right thing to do is to stop or try something else with less resistance or no resistance at all. You imagine that.
This is literally what people do, this is how crazy people are. As someone goes out and they’re like, “I know what I want to do. I want to start my own business.” They make a phone call and they’re like, “Hey I’m thinking of starting my own business. I’m thinking of becoming a relationship coach. Do you think this is a good idea?” The first person you speak to is like, “No, that’s a stupid idea. You should give up.” Then they hang up and then person who is thinking about starting a business is like, “Oh my God, he’s right – it will be hard. I shouldn’t start my own business. I’m going to stop. I’m going to quit right now.” That’s someone facing resistance as a coach and then quitting.
When you come up against resistance, it’s not resistance which you can really touch or see with your eyes. It’s not a material form of resistance. It is a mental form of resistance. That resistance will help you really grow the life and business that you want. It’s really important to understand this.
When you’re coming up against resistance, if you think, “This is hard. This is going to be a challenge. All this is going to push me outside of my comfort zone.” That’s a good thing.You need to learn to embrace resistance and take it as feedback that you’re doing something right and experiencing growth.It’s going to be a challenge and it’s really going to push you outside of your comfort zone.
Hack 4 – Have a learner mindset
If you did know everything, then you would be the most successful and powerful person in the world. You definitely don’t know everything. You don’t everything about the world, and you don’t know everything about coaching. I can assure you of that. There is always going to be something you don’t know.Keep an open mind. Put the student hat on. Let go of all those beliefs that you already know everything – that results in a failure mindset.
Hack 5 – Fight Procrastination
You are going to be attempted to do everything other than the work and make a sale. I mean this, this is what your procrastinators is going to do. You’re starting a new business. There’s going to be work to do. Some things are going to be challenging, pushing you outside of your comfort zone and you’re gonna want to do everything else other than the work. You’re gonna want to go get a new hair cut. You’re gonna want to go out with your friends. Go partying. You’re gonna want to do everything. Probably want to even clean your house. You’ll probably want to go clean your garage, which you never ever wanted to do either, but now that you’ve got this thing to do, you’re probably going to want to go do that.
It’s very important whenever you feel procrastination to just pause for a moment and feel where that procrastination is pulling you. Where is it pulling you towards? Whatever way you feel it pulling, go the opposite and you’ll always be doing the right thing at that point in time.
Hack 6 – Magic Rule – Don’t Give Up
Someone asked me in the Facebook group the other day, they were like, “Kaysha, if you could tell us the one most vital, life-changing piece of advice that you could possibly tell us, what would be that one thing that has resulted in your success? What is that one magic thing?” I was thinking for a while and I was like, “Oh, that’s a good question. What is that one, magic thing?” I thought about it. Then I realised that it was that I didn’t give up.
What happened is I chose all of the wrong things. I did everything wrong, but by doing all the wrong things I eventually found the right things, and then I was able to remember what the right things were and the wrong things were. I just keyed through every possible variation and found out what worked and what didn’t and eventually got to this point.
Truthfully, everybody is going to get to the point of success. The only thing standing in your way is sticking to it. The only way you can really possibly lose is by giving up. That really is the most important thing. You’ve got to do the work, you’ve got to learn this stuff, you’ve got to keep an open mind, you’ve got to take action, you’ve got to be consistent, but the most important thing of all is just sticking to it. Sticking to it and never giving up. You’ve got to be relentless and you have to be willing to do whatever it takes. This is your life. This is your success, your family’s life. It’s the most important thing in the world. You must get relentless and do whatever it takes.
Success is like an exact science – everyone thinks its totally up to chance. The whole world thinks that becoming successful, rich, wealthy, starting your own business and transforming your own life is a fluke. And society labels it as a miracle story. That’s pretty much what they labeled it as, and it’s not, truthfully, it’s not. There’s no such thing as a miracle, it’s just cause and effect, and it’s how you think.